A Fear Of Kissing — a short story for English reading and speaking

Simon liked girls, he liked women.

But he had an innate fear of intimacy. Namely, kissing.

The idea of kissing anyone at all filled Simon with horror.

When he was little, his mother tried to drown him in big, wet kisses. He regularly had nightmares about it, of his mother’s huge lips, smothered in deep-red lipstick, lowering down to his face as if she were trying to devour him.

Since then, he had not kissed anyone.

Simon was 32 years old and lived alone.

He worked in the city library, where he had very little interaction with others. His life was as perfect as it could ever be.

Until she walked in.

As soon as Simon saw her, he had a kind of sixth sense that it would end in trouble.

Not that she looked like trouble herself. She seemed quite ordinary.

But for her to be anywhere in the same world as Simon — that could only end badly.

She came into the library one morning and he observed her as she wandered around from shelf to shelf, gazing at all the books on display.

And just as Simon was replacing some borrowed books back on the shelves — a selection of books about Ancient Egyptian history — she appeared right behind him.

‘Excuse me, do you work here?’

Simon spun around and nearly dropped the two books in his hands.

She smirked a little and raised her hand to her mouth to stifle a giggle.

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you jump,’ she said.

Simon regained his composure and cleared his throat.

‘No, no, it’s fine. How can I help you?’

‘I’m looking for a book about evolution. It’s called The Extended Synthesis — she checked something on her phone — by Massimo Pigliucci and Gerd B. Müller.’

She stumbled over the two names. But as soon as she said them out loud, Simon’s heart started beating faster.

He had not met one other person in his life who had read this book. No one who had read it and truly understood it. It was considered a daring read, something that challenged Darwin’s theories.

‘Yes, yes, we have it,’ said Simon excitedly. And he held out his hand in the direction of the evolution section. ‘Not many people have read this book.’

‘I’ve got to read it for my masters,’ said the young woman.

Along the way to the evolution department and the said book, Simon engaged in conversation with this woman on the subject of evolution, the books that people usually read on it, where she was studying and why, and what she intended to do after graduating.

By the time they came to the right shelf, and Simon had pulled the book away to offer to her, he felt like he had fallen in love with this girl in front of him.

She just seemed amazing.

So he totally surprised himself even further when, after helping her register the book in her name, he offered her his phone number.

‘In case you need to talk about the book,’ he mumbled.

The woman snapped her phone into life and got his number.

‘That would be great,’ she said. ‘Maybe we can catch up and talk about it?’

Simon nodded, and she was gone. Out the library door and into the city.

Simon’s head was in a total whirl.

A couple of days later, Simon received a message.

Come and meet me for coffee. I have so many questions I need to ask you.

It was from the young woman — Ruby. That was her name.

Simon went into a total frenzy. It was like his whole life was now disrupted by this woman. She had just waltzed into his life and rearranged it.

In the time between first meeting her in the library and receiving the message, Simon found that every waking moment he was thinking about her.

He loved the fact that she had taken up residence in his mind. But at the same time found it totally annoying and upsetting.

But he went to meet her.

They met in a trendy coffee shop in the city centre. The kind of place Simon usually avoided because there were too many people and it seemed too energetic for his liking.

Ruby was already there, and she waved him over.

Simon’s heart leapt into his mouth. Just the mere sight of her again made him feel giddy.

They sat and talked for hours about the book that Ruby borrowed, about her studies, her life.

His life.

Simon had never felt more comfortable in the company of a woman than he did with Ruby.

The days slipped by, weeks sped by, and Simon and Ruby met each other again and again.

The meetings evolved into dates. Romantic dates. Simon knew that this was more than just a mere friendship.

She would put her arm through his as they walked on the way to restaurants or through parks on a chilly morning.

And Simon knew that at some point, he would be expected to kiss Ruby.

The idea of this filled him with dread. The vision of his mother’s red lips closing in on him filled his mind with nightmares.

Then one evening, Simon met Ruby for dinner. They ate, they chatted. Ruby did most of the talking, she often did.

He sat and listened to her, basking in the wonder of her.

They finished dinner, Simon paid, and as they left the restaurant, Ruby put her arm through Simon’s arm as usual.

‘Simon, can I ask you something?’ she said to him.

The question was ominous. Loaded with some kind of dread.

‘Sure,’ he replied in a jittery voice.

‘Why have you never made a move on me?’ she asked him.

Simon swallowed. And frantically tried to think of a response. Something that sounded credible and realistic.

‘I don’t know… I guess I was just waiting for the right moment…’

Ruby came to a halt. She gently pulled Simon by his arm so he was facing her.

‘How about right now?’ she said, and half closed her eyes, her mouth slightly open, her lips parted.

Simon stared into the vastness of her lips.

Red, Ruby-red.

Just like his mothers.

He gasped for air and closed his eyes.