Read Marlon’s account below.

I was walking by my home a few weeks back when it occurred to me.

I have depression.

Suddenly, all the feelings I had had in the past made sense. The times when I felt I could not get out of bed or motivate myself to do the most simple things.

When I got home, I told my wife. She nodded her head and said: I’ve been trying to tell you this for years.

And she had. She didn’t say it directly. She didn’t say: You have depression.

But she did hint at it very heavily. I just never picked up on it.

I asked her what I should do, and she said I should talk to someone. I made an appointment to see the doctor, and he said that they have registered counsellors who can help me.

Then I went to see one of them.

I was kind of nervous at first. I thought I would not be able to speak at all at the meeting. But I found that as soon as I started talking about all the bottled up feelings I had, I could not stop.

I went right back to my teenage years. Times when I felt like I had fallen into a huge hole in the ground and there seemed no way out of it.

Other times at college when I wanted to isolate myself and be alone. I would shut myself in my tiny little room and not talk to anyone for days on end.

It was such a confusing time. I didn’t know what was happening to me.

All my college friends were enjoying life — going to parties and being typical students.

But I thought the whole world was coming to an end.

I also told the counsellor about times when I had used alcohol as a crutch. I went through a period of drinking far too much.

I managed to stop, but I realise now why I was doing it. It was because of the depression.

Finally, the counsellor advised me to use things like journaling and exercise. She also advised meditation.

And I threw myself into it. I thought I have to give this my all.

I wrote a couple of pages every morning. Like I was writing a letter to myself. And I started doing exercise. At first, just walking for an hour in the morning. But now I go to the gym and lift weights.

And meditation. I had never done that before. I’ve been doing it for about six months now and I know it’s working. It is having a positive effect.

Admitting to myself that there is a problem and having the awareness to see it was the best thing I have ever done.

Things are not perfect — life never is — but I feel more in control. I feel like I can see things more clearly and I can deal with it much better.

It’s good to talk about these things with people.