Is Marriage Outdated?
From when we are young, we grow up believing in the institution of marriage.
We see the concept of marriage everywhere we look — in films, on TV, in books and in fairy tales we read as young children.
Our parents are usually married, as were their parents before them.
Marriage becomes something that is cast in stone. Reliable, believable and something that every living person does in their life.
But these days, many people are now turning their backs on marriage.
They say it is an outdated idea and that it is impossible for two people to remain married for a long time and still be happy.
Marriage is unsustainable in modern society.
If we look at the rates of divorce, it is hard to disagree.
In some countries, the divorce rate is very high.
The Maldives for example has a divorce rate of 5.52 people for every 1000.
Russia is 3.9 for every 1000.
And Belgium is 3.7.
It looks like an unbelievable number of people are getting divorced every year.
What went wrong between the two people to cause it?
Today, people say that you no longer need to get married to prove that you love someone.
A marriage certificate is only a piece of paper. It is not a declaration of love.
People also say they can commit to another person in life without the need for wedding vows.
And they can tell each other they will stay together for life, without the need of a wedding certificate.
Some people argue that if you want to have children, then it is better to bring the children up in a married relationship.
But then again, these days many people have children without being married.
So is it really necessary?
Then there are the more modern concepts of romantic relationships.
Take, for example, the custom of polyamory.
This means that a person may have a loving, caring relationship with more than one other. So you could see a woman living quite happily with two men.
She loves both of them and they have all agreed to be together.
There are many people living together in a polyamorous relationship, who love each other equally, and have a stable, happy relationship.
In the eyes of the law, all three cannot be married to each other. So they just live together and make a commitment to stay together.
No need for marriage.
There are also gay people in the world.
These days, in some countries, gay people can get married. But for years it was illegal for gay people to be gay at all, let alone get married.
In some very traditional countries, it is still illegal and far from allowing gay people to get married to each other.
But if they love each other, what is the problem?
There have even been some cases of people making wedding vows to themselves. That is, one person deciding to marry their own self.
We live in a rapidly changing world. The ideas that surround love, marriage and relationships with each other are also changing.
More traditional-minded people argue that criticism of marriage is an attack on the traditional family.
While others say that families can still happily exist without the archaic formalities of marriage.
Reading Comprehension Questions
Where do we see concepts of marriage?
Do our parents and grandparents inform us about marriage?
Are some people refusing to get married these days?
What are their reasons?
What countries does the article mention about divorce?
What are the divorce rates in these places?
How do some people see a marriage certificate?
What do some people think about having children and being married?
What is polyamory?
Can people in a polyamorous relationship get married?
So what can they do instead?
Can gay people get married in some countries?
What kind of countries do not allow gay people to get married?
How do some people feel about criticism of marriage?
Essential Vocabulary
institution | concept | fairy tales |
cast in stone | to turn your back on smth | outdated |
unsustainable | rates | disagree |
unbelievable | marriage certificate | declaration |
commit | wedding vows | custom |
polyamory | polyamorous | equally |
stable | commitment | gay |
illegal | traditional | allowing |
rapidly | surround | criticism |
attack | archaic | formalities |
Exercise
Write down all the words and phrases in your vocabulary notebook. Look in your dictionary and find the meaning of each word. Write the definition next to each word.
Then make up your own sentences using each word or phrase.
For example:
Notebook—a small book with pages of blank paper that students use to make notes when studying.
“I left my notebook at home so I was unable to make any notes in my English class.”
Discussion Questions
Is marriage outdated? Tell the class about your opinions.
Do people in your country get married for love? Or some other reasons?
Will you get married in the future? Why/why not?
Is marriage still regarded as a good tradition in your culture? Tell the class the reasons for this.
Is the divorce rate rising in your country? If so, what are the reasons for this?
Divorce rates are high in western countries. What are the reasons for this do you think?
Is marriage ‘just a piece of paper’? What do you think?
Is it possible for people to stay together without getting married? How?
What do you think of the custom of polyamory? Is it acceptable in your country?
What do you think of gay marriage? Is it acceptable? Give your reasons.
And what do you think of a person marrying him or herself?
What makes a happy marriage?
What Makes For A Happy Marriage?
This is a group exercise.
You should get into groups of four students. If not, work as one class together.
In your groups, come up with a list of TEN ideas for what makes a happy marriage.
For example, you could say:
Always be honest with each other.
If there is an argument, wait a while to resolve it.
Learn to trust each other. If one person is going out to meet friends, you must trust them.
Your teacher may be able to provide more examples if you need!
Then, when you are ready, present all of your ten ideas to the class.
Additional Exercise
Allow your classmates to ask questions.
So for example, if one item on your list says to trust each other, maybe a classmate could ask why?
Then you have to give reasons why.
Debate
This is a debate activity.
Divide the class into two teams of the same number.
Choose one person to act as chairperson. The chairperson should make sure all members have the opportunity to speak and to keep order in case things get heated!
Team A
You believe that marriage is sacred.
Getting married is a traditional value that we must not lose in society. When a couple makes wedding vows, it shows that they both respect and love each other to their friends and family.
And we must retain the concept of marriage as children need parents in their lives too.
Team B
You believe that marriage is an outdated concept.
It is no longer required for two people to have a wedding and get married. Having a wedding certificate is useless.
It really is only a piece of paper.
Two people can be together without any need for the old-fashioned values of marriage.
In your respective teams, take some time to prepare what you would like to say in the debate.
Make sure all your lines of argument are clearly thought out and with examples to back it up.
Then when you are ready, begin the debate!
Writing
This is a personal writing exercise.
What do you think about the concept of marriage?
Is it something you agree with?
Or do you think it is outdated and unnecessary?
Write an article expressing your views on marriage and people who get married.
Your article should be in the correct format.
Be sure to include:
An introduction
The main body of your article with two or three paragraphs
A conclusion
When you have finished writing your article, you can read it out loud in class.
Or submit it to your teacher for feedback.
You can download the full lesson plan by clicking the link below!
You can also join my mailing list by clicking the link below. I will send you new guides, articles and lesson plans when I publish them.
This question varies greatly from culture to culture. Where I have taught, free union is out of the question and even illegal. In other countries arranged marriages work beautifully (with very low divorce rate). And polygamy could be a great option for people if it is permitted in the culture.
But for long standing and legal reasons marriage is ingrained in humans who seek to be in a committed union with a partner especially if they are to have children. Marriage is the basis of the family unit and provides a subtle level of more solid commitment and responsibility to the union.
Finally, even if it is old fashioned couples dream of the ceremony where family and friends can share in the commitment to the union of marriage.
Many thanks Leona! I think because marriage is seen very differently in different cultures, it could be a very useful topic to bring up in an ESL class. It could create so much discussion and debate as it is viewed in different ways.