Disconnected — a short story for English reading and speaking

Sonia blinked and raised her head.

She took a breath and looked down again.

That same nagging question in her mind at times like this.

How long had she been sitting here?

She pulled her phone up to her line of vision and stared at the screen. Some messages about a girl at school.

One girl trying to round up a feeling of suspicion about her. To raise some resentment.

Hatred.

Sonia barely knew this girl. She had spoken to her at school maybe once or twice in real life.

But nothing important. Just vague, meaningless stuff.

She squinted at the screen.

And then this vague thought that sent whispers through her mind; Why was she involved in this chat? Why was she adding any comments?

What had this girl done to her?

Or to anyone?

Sonia went to type these thoughts out on the screen.

But then stopped herself.

If she went against the flow. Held her hand out against the mob, she would become the target.

Another group chat would be set up very quickly and within minutes, she would become the object of derision.

Those were the rules.

So she stopped herself.

A feeling inside her head of confusion. A constant nagging exhaustion.

Like she had to be on guard 24 hours a day.

The whispering from inside her mind; Do you like this feeling? Does anyone like this feeling?

Sonia felt overcome with a sensation she could not describe. That she could not understand.

All she knew was that it didn’t feel good. There was nothing remotely pleasant about this feeling at all.

The whispering; Put the phone down.

She placed it on the floor in her room. She looked at it like it had just suddenly become an object of shame. Something she should not own. Something to be avoided.

Sonia pulled her knees closer to her body and wrapped her arms around her legs in a comforting gesture.

This feeling again. She recognised it. Yes, shame. Or guilt. Tinged with anger.

Another whisper; Let’s get rid of it. Throw it away.

Sonia turned to her phone. The screen had flickered off to black. She rarely let it go dark. It was usually bright and flashing. She liked to flick from one app to another. To maintain contact. To make sure that she was not missing out.

That she didn’t miss one comment. One jibe.

One snide remark.

The whispering. This time, more of a growl. Get rid of it.

Sonia jumped to her feet and picked her phone up. She picked it up between her thumb and finger. Like it was a piece of trash.

Or something the dog had been chewing on.

On her desk was an old plastic bag, a wrapper for something she had eaten earlier.

She dropped her phone inside it and clutched it tight.

The whispering; Let’s go outside. Let’s touch green.

Sonia ran downstairs. Her mother was in the living room, bent over her own phone.

‘Hey love, going somewhere?’

‘I just need to — ‘ Sonia went to complete the sentence, but her mother was already focused back on the screen on her phone. She wasn’t listening.

Sonia pulled her sandals on and ran out the door.

Outside, the sky was overcast and unwelcoming.

A sharp breeze that blew coldly against her face.

She stopped in her tracks, thought about going back inside, back into the safety of her room, back to her bed and the screen on her phone.

But she snapped herself to attention and marched on towards the end of the road.

Coming towards her, a young guy who also lived on her street. She could see him, could recognise his face from the videos he had posted online.

His head was bent down, gazing at his phone. His feet stumbled along at a plodding pace below him.

As she passed him, Sonia went to call out and say hello. But she stopped herself. Just to check how much he was aware of the world around him.

He shuffled by, completely ignoring her. Totally unaware that she was even there.

At the end of the road, was a park.

Sonia used to go to the park all the time. Years ago, when she was just a little kid. Before she owned a phone.

Before she joined all the apps.

The gate to the park was wide open. A welcoming gesture to the community. To all the people.

Inviting everyone to step into the green.

A sign read: Feel Free To Walk On The Grass.

And Sonia did.

She slipped off her sandals and stepped onto the lawn that lay in front of her.

The soft blades of grass beneath her feet felt more comfortable than any carpet inside her home.

Cool and gently massaging against the soles of her feet.

The whispering; This is better. Better than being in your room.

Then, in a deeper tone; Now look ahead.

The lawn came to the edge of a lake. Sonia remembered coming here with her parents. To feed the ducks.

To look at the fish slithering around inside the inky depths of the water.

It was just a lake inside a park in her town.

But it was nature.

It felt like heaven.

Sonia came to the edge of the lake and stopped.

The water lapped at the edge. Gently licking rhythms between water and land.

The whispering ushered into her inner ear; Take out your phone. You know what to do.

She pulled out her phone.

The screen remained jet-black. And Sonia dared not to touch it, she did not want to bring it to life.

Then she pulled her hand back as far behind her as she could, and with one deft movement, she hurled her phone into the lake.

It landed with a quiet splash in the middle of the water. And was gone.

Right on cue, a fish jumped from the lake and plunged back into the water below.

A bird called out from a tree.

And the wind blew through the trees, creating a flurry of voices in the branches and the leaves.

And Sonia smiled.

For the first time in ages, she smiled.